So I'm always ringing my good friend, Missy, to say, "Omg, guess what happened this time!" with reference to my darling husband's cooking, which prompted her to suggest that I write short pieces about his cooking adventures. Why? Well, not because he could give Guy Grossi a run for his money on the new Iron Chef Australia, but because of the multitude of mishaps that occur in the kitchen every time he sets foot in it. As of 18 hours ago, I have put in an interim banning of his cooking, at least until we work out how to overcome his chronic, kitchen chaos.
So as I said, there have been many, many mishaps. But today I'll blog about the burnt bolognese, as it's still fresh in my memory (and up my nose).
Lupo smoked out the house last night. I told him that he had to cook spaghetti bolognese because I was sick of cooking.
So he rings me at 5pm telling me to get home asap because he'd locked himself out of the house (he shut the door behind him when he went to take some rubbish out) and that the bolognese was on the stove top - on high.
So I rush home as fast as I can - or as fast as the trains let me - and as I near our house I notice that the front door's open and I'm confused. I walk in and it is smokey! Can't see it, but can definitely smell it! All doors and windows are wide open, in fact, the fly screens have been removed from the windows.
"Hey! I kicked in the back door, 'cause black smoke was coming out of the pot."
Sigh. Ok, so my darling husband had been keeping an eye on the stove top from the back window and then heroically kicked in the back door to get to it when smoke started filling the kitchen. On the plus side, he tells me, our smoke alarm definitely works! No damage to the door or the kitchen, except for a hole in the wall where the door handle bashed into it. I've covered it up with my space men wall stickers, so all good.
The pot, my really good stainless steel pot that my mum had lugged halfway around the work for me, was sitting in the backyard - sunbathing I presume. It was filled with burnt cherry tomatoes, premium mince, shaved carrot and onions. That's all I could make out. Three scrubs later it's nearly looking brand new again (it's probably cleaner than before Lupo started making the bolognese).
Lupo was quite sad all night. And I've had to put in an interim ban on his cooking, it's just far too dangerous. I'm not sure if this was part of his plan...
The burnt bolognese was thrown all over our lawns... *sigh*. I do keep telling Lupo not to throw meat into the compost bin as it'll attract unsightlies... guess I'll have to tell him not to throw it onto the lawns too.
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Some of the non-burnt bits of the left over bolognese - cherry tomatoes, mushrooms.... |
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The mince... |
But what will I blog about next week if Lupo's been banned from cooking? Never fear, I have a huge backlog of stories that I can tell. The exploding baking dish and fish fingers will probably be my next post.
Dinner last night? Plain noodles with some chilli sauce. It's all I could be bothered cooking.
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