Ah, Missy. Remember this one? Lupo went to all that effort of cleaning the house. And when I got home, he showed me how clean the kitchen was. And then he opened the pantry (i.e. Reject Shop 3 tiered cupboard in mocha, which sits on top of the kitchen bench) and pointed at a tupperware container and said, "Look, I even put the chips in there."
What exactly had he done? He'd opened a new packet of chips and poured them into the container for storage...
Why? 'Coz I'd recently done that with a packet that was already open and hadn't been finished.
I think I nearly exploded that day! I had to pointedly ask why he would do that, the chips would now slowly go stale as they were no longer sealed in the air tight bag!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Recipe: Kai si ming
This is seriously a digusting recipe that Lupo so lovingly introduced me to, telling me that his mum used to make it all time. I tried to do a google search on its origins, but struggled to find any helpful links. There does some to be some mentions of it being an "Asian delicacy" (puh-lease!) and to have appeared in a New Zealand Women's Weekly or something. I think it's a terrible interpretation of Chinese "Happy Noodles", which is roughly pronounced as "kai xin mian" in Chinese-Mandarin.
Anyway, there seems to be numerous variations on its spelling (ki si min, kai sing ming, kei si min...) and the recipe ingredients, but they all seem to involved cabbage and mince.
Lupo tried to cook it for me one night (early on in our relationship, when he was still trying to pass himself off as a good cook) and it involved a lot of cabbage, curry powder, and soy sauce - lots of it! Like, half a bottle!!!! I don't really remember there being meat in it - I'll ask him tonight. Anyway, needless to say, it was gross! So, so disgusting!!!! I couldn't believe that anyone would eat it!!!
Regardless, a lot of people on the internet seem to love the recipe and remember it fondly from their childhood! Here's one that I've just plucked from a random website. Enjoy?
Ingredients
Anyway, there seems to be numerous variations on its spelling (ki si min, kai sing ming, kei si min...) and the recipe ingredients, but they all seem to involved cabbage and mince.
Lupo tried to cook it for me one night (early on in our relationship, when he was still trying to pass himself off as a good cook) and it involved a lot of cabbage, curry powder, and soy sauce - lots of it! Like, half a bottle!!!! I don't really remember there being meat in it - I'll ask him tonight. Anyway, needless to say, it was gross! So, so disgusting!!!! I couldn't believe that anyone would eat it!!!
Regardless, a lot of people on the internet seem to love the recipe and remember it fondly from their childhood! Here's one that I've just plucked from a random website. Enjoy?
Ingredients
2 tbsp butter
500g mince
3 or 4 sticks celery chopped finely
salt and pepper
1/4 to 1/2 cabbage shredded
1 pkt chicken noodle soup mix
1 desertspoon full of curry powder (keens is best)
1 onion chopped
Method
- Fry the onions and curry powder in butter and add mince. Brown.
- Add soup mix dissolved in water and simmer for 15 minutes. Add all of the vegetables and simmer with the lid closed for 10 minutes.
- Eat and enjoy.
Plain 'roo
Ah, remember this? The plain 'roo.
So these days we don't even add salt to our food anymore. We only add salt when we have other people around for a meal, so that they don't think that we're bland. Although, as a result, it means that we really struggle the next day if we've been out for dinner a restaurant the night before - not too many salt free restaurants out there!!! But I digress...
Anyway, so we don't add salt to our food, but we do tend to cook with lots of tasty vegies. Or we just go with the natural salts that occur in the meat. You know, it's one big delicate balancing act to make sure that the food tastes nice.
However, one night, we'd bought some 'roo steaks and Lupo was cooking - uh oh! Hehehe. So he pretty much plonks the meat on the (cold) pan and lets it cook. Watching by and doing my usual inspection, I suggested that he sprinkle some salt on top for flavour. But he refused, told me not to meddle and to let him cook. Or perhaps this time I didn't mention anything, given all the previous times he'd told me not to meddle... I dunno. Can't remember.
Either way, so Lupo plates up our meal, we sit down in front of the TV and start eating. Hmph. Man, it was so bland and tasteless, a bit dry and just kinda not very nice. Lupo was very disappointed. And urgh, it was just such a terrible meal! And the meat was so expensive! Ay, ay, ay.
He knows to season and to taste before serving these days.
So these days we don't even add salt to our food anymore. We only add salt when we have other people around for a meal, so that they don't think that we're bland. Although, as a result, it means that we really struggle the next day if we've been out for dinner a restaurant the night before - not too many salt free restaurants out there!!! But I digress...
Anyway, so we don't add salt to our food, but we do tend to cook with lots of tasty vegies. Or we just go with the natural salts that occur in the meat. You know, it's one big delicate balancing act to make sure that the food tastes nice.
However, one night, we'd bought some 'roo steaks and Lupo was cooking - uh oh! Hehehe. So he pretty much plonks the meat on the (cold) pan and lets it cook. Watching by and doing my usual inspection, I suggested that he sprinkle some salt on top for flavour. But he refused, told me not to meddle and to let him cook. Or perhaps this time I didn't mention anything, given all the previous times he'd told me not to meddle... I dunno. Can't remember.
Either way, so Lupo plates up our meal, we sit down in front of the TV and start eating. Hmph. Man, it was so bland and tasteless, a bit dry and just kinda not very nice. Lupo was very disappointed. And urgh, it was just such a terrible meal! And the meat was so expensive! Ay, ay, ay.
He knows to season and to taste before serving these days.
Friday, November 19, 2010
The pork's a bit too pink!
So by now you've probably realised that no matter the mis-adventure, Lupo is never deterred from the kitchen and always willing to give it another go! So what did he give another go? Cooking roast pork for his friends.
Sugar vs salt? Not a problem - we've got that sorted now!
What was the issue this time? Being hungry and eager and not letting the pork cook for long enough! I suggested 3 hours. Lupo took it out at about 1.5 hours.
The result?
Beautifully cooked pork around the edge - rather pink and undercooked pork in the middle.
There was not food poisoning afterwards.
So, win-win really!
Sugar vs salt? Not a problem - we've got that sorted now!
What was the issue this time? Being hungry and eager and not letting the pork cook for long enough! I suggested 3 hours. Lupo took it out at about 1.5 hours.
The result?
Beautifully cooked pork around the edge - rather pink and undercooked pork in the middle.
There was not food poisoning afterwards.
So, win-win really!
Recipe: Slow roasted pork belly
Here's a great, simple recipe for doing a slow roasted pork belly - yum! Simple recipes are the best!!!
Roast Pork Belly with Caramelised Onions
(Recipe source: Open Source Food)
This is a really simple recipe that gives you a great base for a meal with next to no effort - you just bung it in the oven and forget about it. As the pork cooks, it releases fat which caramelises the onions underneath it. I served the pork resting on a bed of the onions, with brussels sprouts on the side.
Ingredients
Instructions
I also reduce the oven temperature to ~180 degrees celsius after the first 20 minutes and slow roast it for awhile (up to 3 hours, depending on the size of your piece of pork!). And I omit the pepper from the recipe - just a personal preference!
But I think my number one tip would be to buy the pork belly from a good butcher! They are often more than happy to score the skin for you too :-)
Roast Pork Belly with Caramelised Onions
(Recipe source: Open Source Food)
This is a really simple recipe that gives you a great base for a meal with next to no effort - you just bung it in the oven and forget about it. As the pork cooks, it releases fat which caramelises the onions underneath it. I served the pork resting on a bed of the onions, with brussels sprouts on the side.
Ingredients
- 1 medium block of pork belly
- 1 large red onion, finely sliced
- glug of white wine
- rosemary or thyme sprigs (or both)
- 4 or 5 cloves of garlic, smashed whole
- salt, pepper, olive oil
- Preheat the oven to 230C.
- Score the skin / fat of your pork with a very sharp knife. Season the skin generously with salt and pepper. Set aside to dry out a little.
- Slice the onions very thinly. Create a "bed" of onions on the baking tray, to go underneath the pork (so don't spread them all out - you want the fat to drip down on them). Lay the herb sprigs and garlic on top of the bed of onions and season with a little salt and pepper.
- Lay the pork on top of the onion-herb bed. Drizzle generously with olive oil, to cover the pork skin. Pour white wine around the onions. Put in the oven for about an hour. You'll need to keep checking it throughout, to make sure the skin isn't burning or the liquid hasn't all gone - if things are looking a bit dry add more wine. Adjust temperature and cooking time until the pork is done to your liking.
- Remove pork and IMPORTANT! let it rest for about 10 mins. This will make it easier to carve. You can put the onions back in the oven to cook more if you like.
- Carve and serve!
I also reduce the oven temperature to ~180 degrees celsius after the first 20 minutes and slow roast it for awhile (up to 3 hours, depending on the size of your piece of pork!). And I omit the pepper from the recipe - just a personal preference!
But I think my number one tip would be to buy the pork belly from a good butcher! They are often more than happy to score the skin for you too :-)
Sugar roasted pork
Ah, the sugar roasted pork. Wasn't this one a gem? So we both absolutely love roast pork, especially roast pork belly... yum!! Slow roasted pork belly, apple sauce with a touch of cinnamon, a few roast vegies (sweet potatoes normally feature)... mmmmmmmm.
Anyway, the first time we invited Lupos' friends over for dinner it was on a week night. So, no time for me to rush home and cook. Having decided doing roast pork, I gave Lupo instructions on how to do it all. My instructions where:
- Score the skin of the pork
- Rub a generous amount of salt into the skin
- Put it in the oven...
I'd even made a note to say that the salt was in the smallest container. Why? Well, we have our salt, sugar, corn flour and other white colour things in matching containers that vary in size. The funniest thing is to always see Lupo taste testing the salt or sugar, to see if it's salt or sugar.
So, back to the roast pork night. I came home, around 5:30 or 6pm, and could smell something sweet in the air. My first thought was, 'Wow, Lupo's done the roast pork AND found time to bake a cake!', immediately followed by, 'Lupo doesn't know how to bake a cake.' So I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen and the first thing I noticed sitting on the kitchen table was the sugar. Hmmm... Then I peeked into the oven and noticed the entire top layer of the pork was black! BLACK!!!
So at this stage I'm freaking out. Coz we have people arriving in about an hour and we have nothing to serve them except for black roast pork. Meanwhile, I'm screeching at Lupo and saying, "What did you do? How hot did you have the oven? Didn't you check up on it? Couldn't you smell the burning????" And he's like, "No, I just put it in the oven like you told me to..." Then! I said (or screamed), "Did you use the sugar?" And he's like, "No, the salt." And so then I point that the container full of sugar and say, "That's sugaaaarrrr!!!!!"
Oops.
After I calmed down, I had another looking at the black, roast pork and decided that the meat was probably still ok and that it was probably only the skin that was burnt. So we left it and hoped for the best.
Lupo's friends came over. We took the roast pork out. Took off the black, black skin (it lifted off quite easily!) and the meat underneath was PERFECT! Juicy, tender and very, very yummy. The only sad bit about it was the fact that we didn't have any crackling to go with it :(
Anyway, it made a great dinner table story for the night and it still pops up every now and again as one of those stories. Hehe.
Later that night, Lupo confided in me that the method he adopted to put the salt (i.e. sugar) over the skin was as follows:
- place the pork on the tray
- pour a copious amount of salt (i.e. sugar) all over the pork (and let it spill all over the sides and all over the table and the floor)
- lift the tray out of the baking dish
- pour the excess salt (i.e. sugar) from the baking dish into the sink
- put the tray back in the baking dish
The reason why he admitted this to me was 'coz I queried why there were so many salt (i.e. sugar) granules all over the kitchen.
Anyway, the first time we invited Lupos' friends over for dinner it was on a week night. So, no time for me to rush home and cook. Having decided doing roast pork, I gave Lupo instructions on how to do it all. My instructions where:
- Score the skin of the pork
- Rub a generous amount of salt into the skin
- Put it in the oven...
I'd even made a note to say that the salt was in the smallest container. Why? Well, we have our salt, sugar, corn flour and other white colour things in matching containers that vary in size. The funniest thing is to always see Lupo taste testing the salt or sugar, to see if it's salt or sugar.
So, back to the roast pork night. I came home, around 5:30 or 6pm, and could smell something sweet in the air. My first thought was, 'Wow, Lupo's done the roast pork AND found time to bake a cake!', immediately followed by, 'Lupo doesn't know how to bake a cake.' So I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen and the first thing I noticed sitting on the kitchen table was the sugar. Hmmm... Then I peeked into the oven and noticed the entire top layer of the pork was black! BLACK!!!
So at this stage I'm freaking out. Coz we have people arriving in about an hour and we have nothing to serve them except for black roast pork. Meanwhile, I'm screeching at Lupo and saying, "What did you do? How hot did you have the oven? Didn't you check up on it? Couldn't you smell the burning????" And he's like, "No, I just put it in the oven like you told me to..." Then! I said (or screamed), "Did you use the sugar?" And he's like, "No, the salt." And so then I point that the container full of sugar and say, "That's sugaaaarrrr!!!!!"
Oops.
After I calmed down, I had another looking at the black, roast pork and decided that the meat was probably still ok and that it was probably only the skin that was burnt. So we left it and hoped for the best.
Lupo's friends came over. We took the roast pork out. Took off the black, black skin (it lifted off quite easily!) and the meat underneath was PERFECT! Juicy, tender and very, very yummy. The only sad bit about it was the fact that we didn't have any crackling to go with it :(
Anyway, it made a great dinner table story for the night and it still pops up every now and again as one of those stories. Hehe.
Later that night, Lupo confided in me that the method he adopted to put the salt (i.e. sugar) over the skin was as follows:
- place the pork on the tray
- pour a copious amount of salt (i.e. sugar) all over the pork (and let it spill all over the sides and all over the table and the floor)
- lift the tray out of the baking dish
- pour the excess salt (i.e. sugar) from the baking dish into the sink
- put the tray back in the baking dish
The reason why he admitted this to me was 'coz I queried why there were so many salt (i.e. sugar) granules all over the kitchen.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Exploding fish
On the topic of fish, not too long ago Lupo decided to surprise me with a fancy dinner. He went to sooooo much effort. I came home to something delicious baking in the oven - fish. He'd crumbed some fish (he tells me he just mixed up some breadcrumbs, pepper and salt), bougth some pre-crumbed prawns from Coles and had it all going in the oven. He even proudly told me that he had the lined our huge glass baking dish with foil, to make cleaning it later easier.
He'd even set the table (we rarely eat at the table, normally on the couch in front of the TV) and lit a couple of tealight candles - aw.
So anyway, dinner time. Yum yum. So Lupo pulled open the oven door, took a hold of one side of the glass baking dish with the not-so-thick oven mit and said "Arghhhhh!" and put it back down. Then he went to pick it up again and this time said "Argh! Hot!" Meanwhile, I'm like, "Don't grab it out before getting a heat mat for the table!!! Just leave it in the oven!" And Lupo's still going, "Hot, hot, hot!" whilst doing this funny lifting up and bobbing about dance with the tray. Then he put the piping hot baking tray on the table - the laminate table.
Realising what he'd done, Lupo then lifts it back up and goes, "Hot, hot, hot!" And I'm like, "Just put it back down on the oven tray!!!!" For some reason he doesn't. Luckily there was a towel hanging over one of the chairs in the kitchen, so I grabbed that to take the baking dish out of Lupo's hands. As I lifted it to put it onto the heat mat, which I'd moved into place by then, the whole thing shattered!!!! Like, just shattered in my hand and fell to the floor. I was able to put some of it onto the table, but there was glass everywhere! Big jagged bits and tiny little flecks that you could only see as you moved around and light got reflected.
It was such a sad sight. Glass, crumbed prawns, fish, more glass... So we just swept it all up, threw it out and then went out for dinner. At least I think we went out for dinner. I can't remember what we did that night! But I do remember Lupo being very sad.
I've got pictures of the table where the laminate has been lifted from the table. Will have to put them up too!
He'd even set the table (we rarely eat at the table, normally on the couch in front of the TV) and lit a couple of tealight candles - aw.
So anyway, dinner time. Yum yum. So Lupo pulled open the oven door, took a hold of one side of the glass baking dish with the not-so-thick oven mit and said "Arghhhhh!" and put it back down. Then he went to pick it up again and this time said "Argh! Hot!" Meanwhile, I'm like, "Don't grab it out before getting a heat mat for the table!!! Just leave it in the oven!" And Lupo's still going, "Hot, hot, hot!" whilst doing this funny lifting up and bobbing about dance with the tray. Then he put the piping hot baking tray on the table - the laminate table.
Realising what he'd done, Lupo then lifts it back up and goes, "Hot, hot, hot!" And I'm like, "Just put it back down on the oven tray!!!!" For some reason he doesn't. Luckily there was a towel hanging over one of the chairs in the kitchen, so I grabbed that to take the baking dish out of Lupo's hands. As I lifted it to put it onto the heat mat, which I'd moved into place by then, the whole thing shattered!!!! Like, just shattered in my hand and fell to the floor. I was able to put some of it onto the table, but there was glass everywhere! Big jagged bits and tiny little flecks that you could only see as you moved around and light got reflected.
It was such a sad sight. Glass, crumbed prawns, fish, more glass... So we just swept it all up, threw it out and then went out for dinner. At least I think we went out for dinner. I can't remember what we did that night! But I do remember Lupo being very sad.
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The glass, the fish, the prawns, the towel and Lupo sweeping. |
I've got pictures of the table where the laminate has been lifted from the table. Will have to put them up too!
Salmon sausage
So there's gonna be quite a few re-cap blogs tonight. I wanna get this all up-to-date, so then I can blog on a real time basis.
So! The salmon sausage. 'What in the world is that?' you ask! Right, so Lupo loves salmon. And I do too for that matter. I love it in any form - sashimi, pan seared, salmon belly (yum!), in salads, sushi, etc.
Lupo loves putting smoked salmon in sandwiches and wraps.
Not so long ago, Lupo picked me up from work as we were heading out somewhere. He'd made me lunch to eat in the car - the salmon sausage. It was, seriously, about a 2cm dia tube of salmon in a wrap. There was nothing else.
It was like just grabbing all the salmon from a pack and shoving it into my mouth. Now, it's not hard for me to eat that much in one sitting, but I don't normally just grab some salmon, wrap it up in bread and then eat it. It's kinda really dry and bland like that. All it needed was some home grown rocket and a smearing of avocado...
So! The salmon sausage. 'What in the world is that?' you ask! Right, so Lupo loves salmon. And I do too for that matter. I love it in any form - sashimi, pan seared, salmon belly (yum!), in salads, sushi, etc.
Lupo loves putting smoked salmon in sandwiches and wraps.
Not so long ago, Lupo picked me up from work as we were heading out somewhere. He'd made me lunch to eat in the car - the salmon sausage. It was, seriously, about a 2cm dia tube of salmon in a wrap. There was nothing else.
It was like just grabbing all the salmon from a pack and shoving it into my mouth. Now, it's not hard for me to eat that much in one sitting, but I don't normally just grab some salmon, wrap it up in bread and then eat it. It's kinda really dry and bland like that. All it needed was some home grown rocket and a smearing of avocado...
Bolognese secrets
Before I move on from the topic of bolognese, let me share a couple more stories about it. The night after the burnt bolognese/ smokey pot/ back door kicking episode (i.e. last week), I returned home from another day at work to find Lupo cooking (!!) - despite the interim ban placed upon him! Gargggggggghhhhhhhh! So I asked what he was making and he told me spag bol! Again! Gargggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!
Anyway, I had a peek in the pot and it looked alright. He told me that he'd bought secret ingredients (salami and tomato paste - secret no more!) and that it was going to taste really good. So after we waited for the pasta to cook (which took awhile as Lupo decided to place the pasta in with the cold water and let it all boil at the same time!) we sat down for a nice casual meal in front of the TV. And, O, M, G! The spag bol was amaaaaaazing! It was very yummy! Better than the more recent Stephanie Alexander recipe one that I've been making recently. It was so good that I took a good portion of it to work the next day :-)
But was it always like this? No. Sadly, no. Missy reminded me today to tell the story about the mince and sauce. A short and simple story, but funny all the same!
So early on in our relationship, Lupo did kind of go on about his fantastic spag bol - one of his favourite dishes. [Watching Nausicaa as I'm writing this, the movie's kind of a bit too intense to try to multi-task.] So he makes me this signature dish of his one night and... Hmm. Ok. The bolognese cooking process included frying up some mince, adding a jar of Leggo's tomato sauce and voila! That was it! The pasta was (under)cooked and then served up with the mega chunky bits of mince in Leggo's sauce.
Omg, it was so gross. The meat so dry (and so chunky!) and the sauce so processed. Garrrggghhhh. And uncooked pasta.
What can I say? I glad Lupo can cook a mean spag bol these days - when the kitchen isn't under threat of being burnt down that is.
Anyway, I had a peek in the pot and it looked alright. He told me that he'd bought secret ingredients (salami and tomato paste - secret no more!) and that it was going to taste really good. So after we waited for the pasta to cook (which took awhile as Lupo decided to place the pasta in with the cold water and let it all boil at the same time!) we sat down for a nice casual meal in front of the TV. And, O, M, G! The spag bol was amaaaaaazing! It was very yummy! Better than the more recent Stephanie Alexander recipe one that I've been making recently. It was so good that I took a good portion of it to work the next day :-)
But was it always like this? No. Sadly, no. Missy reminded me today to tell the story about the mince and sauce. A short and simple story, but funny all the same!
So early on in our relationship, Lupo did kind of go on about his fantastic spag bol - one of his favourite dishes. [Watching Nausicaa as I'm writing this, the movie's kind of a bit too intense to try to multi-task.] So he makes me this signature dish of his one night and... Hmm. Ok. The bolognese cooking process included frying up some mince, adding a jar of Leggo's tomato sauce and voila! That was it! The pasta was (under)cooked and then served up with the mega chunky bits of mince in Leggo's sauce.
Omg, it was so gross. The meat so dry (and so chunky!) and the sauce so processed. Garrrggghhhh. And uncooked pasta.
What can I say? I glad Lupo can cook a mean spag bol these days - when the kitchen isn't under threat of being burnt down that is.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Burnt Bolognese
It's been a good 18 hours since smoke filled our very small two bedroom house. My nose is still running like crazy and I can't stop sneezing! But I get ahead of myself. Let me give you a bit of background...
So I'm always ringing my good friend, Missy, to say, "Omg, guess what happened this time!" with reference to my darling husband's cooking, which prompted her to suggest that I write short pieces about his cooking adventures. Why? Well, not because he could give Guy Grossi a run for his money on the new Iron Chef Australia, but because of the multitude of mishaps that occur in the kitchen every time he sets foot in it. As of 18 hours ago, I have put in an interim banning of his cooking, at least until we work out how to overcome his chronic, kitchen chaos.
So as I said, there have been many, many mishaps. But today I'll blog about the burnt bolognese, as it's still fresh in my memory (and up my nose).
Lupo smoked out the house last night. I told him that he had to cook spaghetti bolognese because I was sick of cooking.
So he rings me at 5pm telling me to get home asap because he'd locked himself out of the house (he shut the door behind him when he went to take some rubbish out) and that the bolognese was on the stove top - on high.
So I rush home as fast as I can - or as fast as the trains let me - and as I near our house I notice that the front door's open and I'm confused. I walk in and it is smokey! Can't see it, but can definitely smell it! All doors and windows are wide open, in fact, the fly screens have been removed from the windows.
"Hey! I kicked in the back door, 'cause black smoke was coming out of the pot."
Sigh. Ok, so my darling husband had been keeping an eye on the stove top from the back window and then heroically kicked in the back door to get to it when smoke started filling the kitchen. On the plus side, he tells me, our smoke alarm definitely works! No damage to the door or the kitchen, except for a hole in the wall where the door handle bashed into it. I've covered it up with my space men wall stickers, so all good.
The pot, my really good stainless steel pot that my mum had lugged halfway around the work for me, was sitting in the backyard - sunbathing I presume. It was filled with burnt cherry tomatoes, premium mince, shaved carrot and onions. That's all I could make out. Three scrubs later it's nearly looking brand new again (it's probably cleaner than before Lupo started making the bolognese).
Lupo was quite sad all night. And I've had to put in an interim ban on his cooking, it's just far too dangerous. I'm not sure if this was part of his plan...
The burnt bolognese was thrown all over our lawns... *sigh*. I do keep telling Lupo not to throw meat into the compost bin as it'll attract unsightlies... guess I'll have to tell him not to throw it onto the lawns too.
But what will I blog about next week if Lupo's been banned from cooking? Never fear, I have a huge backlog of stories that I can tell. The exploding baking dish and fish fingers will probably be my next post.
Dinner last night? Plain noodles with some chilli sauce. It's all I could be bothered cooking.
So I'm always ringing my good friend, Missy, to say, "Omg, guess what happened this time!" with reference to my darling husband's cooking, which prompted her to suggest that I write short pieces about his cooking adventures. Why? Well, not because he could give Guy Grossi a run for his money on the new Iron Chef Australia, but because of the multitude of mishaps that occur in the kitchen every time he sets foot in it. As of 18 hours ago, I have put in an interim banning of his cooking, at least until we work out how to overcome his chronic, kitchen chaos.
So as I said, there have been many, many mishaps. But today I'll blog about the burnt bolognese, as it's still fresh in my memory (and up my nose).
Lupo smoked out the house last night. I told him that he had to cook spaghetti bolognese because I was sick of cooking.
So he rings me at 5pm telling me to get home asap because he'd locked himself out of the house (he shut the door behind him when he went to take some rubbish out) and that the bolognese was on the stove top - on high.
So I rush home as fast as I can - or as fast as the trains let me - and as I near our house I notice that the front door's open and I'm confused. I walk in and it is smokey! Can't see it, but can definitely smell it! All doors and windows are wide open, in fact, the fly screens have been removed from the windows.
"Hey! I kicked in the back door, 'cause black smoke was coming out of the pot."
Sigh. Ok, so my darling husband had been keeping an eye on the stove top from the back window and then heroically kicked in the back door to get to it when smoke started filling the kitchen. On the plus side, he tells me, our smoke alarm definitely works! No damage to the door or the kitchen, except for a hole in the wall where the door handle bashed into it. I've covered it up with my space men wall stickers, so all good.
The pot, my really good stainless steel pot that my mum had lugged halfway around the work for me, was sitting in the backyard - sunbathing I presume. It was filled with burnt cherry tomatoes, premium mince, shaved carrot and onions. That's all I could make out. Three scrubs later it's nearly looking brand new again (it's probably cleaner than before Lupo started making the bolognese).
Lupo was quite sad all night. And I've had to put in an interim ban on his cooking, it's just far too dangerous. I'm not sure if this was part of his plan...
The burnt bolognese was thrown all over our lawns... *sigh*. I do keep telling Lupo not to throw meat into the compost bin as it'll attract unsightlies... guess I'll have to tell him not to throw it onto the lawns too.
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Some of the non-burnt bits of the left over bolognese - cherry tomatoes, mushrooms.... |
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The mince... |
But what will I blog about next week if Lupo's been banned from cooking? Never fear, I have a huge backlog of stories that I can tell. The exploding baking dish and fish fingers will probably be my next post.
Dinner last night? Plain noodles with some chilli sauce. It's all I could be bothered cooking.
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